a bit of this and a bit of that

Remember my blog post about music and how much it means to me? Normally when something is wrong I can usually find a song to relate to it. Today this one line from a PINK song is resonating in my head:

"Every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person starin' back at me"

Now that is not to say that I can't stand myself, I am working hard to get back to where I was and accept myself for who I am.

One of the best feelings is driving in the summer with the really bright, warm sun shining down and the music just cranked. Not a care in the world!

I had an anxiety attack the other day - and I didn't know what happened until afterwards. I didn't think I ever got anxiety attacks but I can think of at least one other time this happened to me.

So remember on Monday when I was feeling down after my workout at the gym? Well I went into Angelo's to get some pizza sauce for dinner and saw someone that I had not seen in a long time. I had gone to highschool with him when I was large, then ran into him at work right before my wedding and he has said how good I was looking (I was at my most fit then) and we had chatted for a bit and I haven't seen him since. He was in there and I did everything possible to keep from running into him. After I managed to leave the store with my sauce and not running into him I let out the breath I didn't realize I was holding and felt normal again. Very weird occurrence but I am chalking it up to the fact that I had just been upset with myself at the gym.

On a more positive note I have had a bit more energy yesterday and today. Yesterday I lasted longer than today but today I lasted longer than I have in a while. I am hoping that this sleeping pattern will pay off and that I stop waking up with such bad headaches soon. \

This was a pretty good weekend - we went to Tara's game yesterday then over to the states to get a few things, then today after church I had a meeting then came home and cleaned the apartment before heading to Sean's parents place to hang out for a bit while Sean and his Dad worked on something.

We all went out to dinner at Palasad (Sean and I are trying to chose new places to eat). We ordered a salad and a pizza to share. As soon as the salad came and I took one look at it, I decided that I was not sharing because it looked SO GOOD. I took one bite and was just in heaven. I did share some with him, but not half like I had planned, since I ended up having less pizza (which was also REALLY good). I had the Apple and Goat Cheese salad - and I would strongly recommend it to anyone!

My night time routine is going okay, it's a nuisance on the weekend let me tell you, and I have felt a bit better from doing it, but not much. I am going to keep on with it, as well as my Herbalife vitamins.