Enough already...

I have not written for the past few days not because I don’t have anything to say, but truthfully because I’ve been hiding. I have been on a binge for a long time now (more than a few weeks) and it’s destroying me, so I am going to be honest about it.

I, like 99% of other people out there, am an emotional eater. I’ve got some things going on and to “deal” with them I am eating, anything and everything I want with ZERO restraint. The only problem is, that it is making me feel so much worse. So why can’t I just stop you ask? I wish it were that simple!

Friday night was okay, I had to go to the Superstore to get a new debit card since I had misplaced mine. While I was there I picked up a bag of chips to munch on. Lee’s kids were sick so he had to cancel my session, which was okay because I quite enjoyed just watching a movie. I watched "Where the Heart is". A movie I loved as a kid, and snacked on my chips. Surprisingly I didn’t eat that many, and left the rest of the bag for Sean. Saturday morning my sister and I went to the states to go shopping. It was my first time sticking to a budget over there. I figured out what I needed/wanted and how much it was going to be and planned my birthday money accordingly.

We went for a buffet breakfast – and I ate pretty much all carbs (besides my bacon), then we went to Hobby Lobby where I could get some scrapbook stickers for my BC/Alberta scrapbook I’m working on right now (6 months after we took the trip). After that we headed over to the mall and I looked in JC Penny for some new work pants (since I only have one pair that fits). I was trying on different pants and getting so discouraged because nothing was fitting me right. I wanted to cry.

I needed some more perfume, and I really like the one from Hollister, so I picked up one of those. Then we headed to Wal-Mart to get a few things. I had a raging headache by this point and was still upset from trying on pants and wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep in the back seat. So I took some excedrine, which kicked in very quickly and I started to feel much better.

Sean has this disgusting lunch bag that is SO dirty and gross. He finally told me I could get him a new one. So I got him a new lunch bag, and myself a few bath items (bubble bath and this powder stuff to make the water smell good). We got a few groceries and were on our way.

Since I didn’t find any pants at JCP (which never happens, I ALWAYS find stuff there) we stopped at Kohl’s. I did manage to find a pair of pants that I bought, but even better than that I bought a ring that I can wear for the mean time until my wedding ring fits again. I don’t want to get my wedding rings sized because they are engraved – so this will have to do. It looks almost identical to my ring only there is a bit of colour. I really like it, but hope I don’t have to wear it too long :).

When we got home from the states I brought everything in and then we went to a friends house for dinner/the evening.

After church on Sunday Sean’s parents took us to Kelsey’s for my birthday lunch. We ordered an appetizer that we shared between the 4 of us, and I ordered a salad (which was VERY tough to do because I like so many other things at Kelsey’s that are not so good for you).

After that we gave Levi a hair cut (and he looks SO cute now), then took him to the dog park. The weather was amazing and it felt SO nice to have the sun on our skin. The dog park was PACKED…there must have been at least 75 dogs there, it was great. After that we went home for a nap then woke up for dinner (hot dogs and baked fries).

Yesterday I worked all day and then gave myself one goal last night – to do and put away my laundry, and I did it! I know that doesn’t sound so hard, but I had a lot of laundry built up from the past few weeks, both clean and dirty. So now it is ALL done and ALL put away.

I was also thinking about how crappy I’ve been feeling lately. I have had a headache for a few weeks now (everyday) and I think it is largely in part of how much sugar I have been inhaling consuming. I think I need to drastically cut down on the amount I am having (not cut it out all together) but really try to focus on having a lot more whole, natural foods in my diet, like I was eating before. I am going to try to post all of the food that I eat on here so that I can be more accountable and have a better idea of what I am consuming. I am taking this one day at a time, but as I have said before I am determined to get back to being healthy and in control.

Since it is March Break there are not many people at work, so today we are having a Hawaiian themed potluck! I went last night and bought a grass skirt and a flower lay. I also brought sandals and sunglass to add to my outfit. I’m looking forward to it! Tonight I have a session with Lee and then I am going to give myself one task to complete. Remember baby steps…one at a time.