Funeral for a friend

Friday paid a beautiful tribute to my father in law. His body is now laid to rest but we know he lives on in heaven. My brother in law Ryan paid a beautiful tribute to his dad with a very good eulogy. I was also very fortunate to be given the change to speak and I thought I would just post my speech for those that weren't able to attend or wish to hear it again:

We lost a dear husband, father, grandfather, and friend but heaven gained so much more and for that we can rejoice. As we pictured this the past few days we could see Dave driving a solid gold tractor and eating a sugary, dairy filled dessert – probably a cheesecake!

My name is Kelly and I am the second daughter in law of Dave and Kathie, wife of Sean. If you are here today I can only assume that you knew Dave, even if only from a brief meeting one time. And even if you met him only one time for a few minutes it would have been very obvious to you his kind, gentle, and loving personality.

Dave was a big kid at heart, which is probably why Kathie often said she had “four boys”. He had a great relationship with all of sons and he had a different, but special, connection with each of them.

I have so many fond memories of Dave that date back to when their family first made the move to First Lobo Baptist Church. Sean and I were very much on again off again, and on again off again teenagers. Even when we were “off again” our parents still remained good friends and our families went to dinner and did movie nights quite often. 

Obviously over the past 6 years that Sean and I have been only on again, my memories of Dave grew stronger as we spent a lot more time together. He became my second father and I cherish my relationship with him very much. We would be here all day if I shared all of my memories with you so instead I will only share with you a few.  

9 and a half months ago our daughter Rylee was born. The first grandchild on both sides of the family. She was a scheduled c-section, that just happened to be booked for the day, and very close to the hour, that Dave had a very large report due for work. He had a few days notice, so he worked some longer hours in the days before to make sure it was done so he could submit it early and be at the hospital for when she was born. He was one of the first people to hold her and we took her picture of him holding her, but quickly realized that his hand, took up most of the picture! It was a hand *hold out hand* and a little head with a pink hat on it. It is my favourite picture of her first few hours of her life.

And most recently most of the family was able to go to Florida to celebrate a family wedding. While we were there we rented a house. Sean had to leave early to go back to work and so the family helped out extra with Rylee. Except that Rylee only wanted to go to myself, Dave, and Ryan for the most part. I think it was something about them that reminded her of her dada. Every morning Dave gave her her bottle and played with her on the floor.  Even at the family wedding Dave danced with Rylee for a number of songs and she just had a ball dancing with her grandpa – they must have shared their love for music. They spent many hours that week in the pool as well. My favourite part of the trip, aside from the wedding and seeing family, was a tour of a chocolate factory. I was SO excited and here was Dave, a diabetic with lactose intolerance, going on a tour of a chocolate factory…what is wrong with this picture?!

Dave had a number of jokes, a limited number of jokes, as we heard them time and time again. When people who knew his sons, met Dave for the first time, they quickly said “oh, that is where you get it from”. You couldn’t say Hey without hearing straw, or Let’s go without hearing where are we going. When ever someone said “opposites attract” Dave and Kathie would race to say at the same time “I’m the good looking intelligent one”. He always enjoyed making fun of my many blonde moments and shared a laugh with everyone over them. I quickly learned that if he made fun of you it meant he loved you.  If you ever sat next or even near to Dave you probably felt like you were trapped in a mild earth quake from the constant shaking of his leg, which my husband was so lucky to “inherit” from him.

Dave was slow to anger even if we had ruined his stuff, like when my husband hit fence post and heavily damaged the steering column of their tractor, or the time that I opened the barn door the wrong way and completely took it off the track. Dave and Evan had to climb up on the ladder to get it back on and working properly. I won’t do that one again! And let’s not forget the time that Ryan didn’t hook up the trailer to the truck properly and the boat smashed into the tail gate into his brand new truck.

Dave and Kathie have always been so welcoming and opened their home to everyone. When you walked in the door you were told to help yourself to anything in the fridge or cupboards, and to make yourself comfortable. Which I am sure they regret every time my husband visits!

In all seriousness, Dave was the type of person who would do anything for anyone. He was always there to help in any way he could. He was looking forward to playing around on the farm after his retirement. He had a smile that was infectious, and a very distinct laugh. He loved his wife, his boys, his two beautiful daughters in law, and the first baby girl, his granddaughter, Rylee. When Ryan and Mel announced that they were expecting, Dave was beyond excited. He was already making plans to make frequent trips to Kitchener. Dave was a loving son, brother and friend to many. Yesterday showed us a small glimpse at the number of lives he touched.

Over the past few days we have had lots of time with family to reflect over Dave’s life, which you will hear more about shortly, but it has been very clear to us in so many ways God’s timing of Dave’s passing. God has been putting his plan into place piece by piece and we know He’s not done yet.

I want to take a moment to read the poem that the family chose to use in Dave’s memory. I know it has been used at many funerals but I feel the words are so fitting to Dave.

Miss me – but let me go

When I come to the end of the road

And the sun has set for me,

I want no tears in a gloom-filled room,

Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little – But not for long

And not with your head bowed low,

Remember the love that we once shared,

Miss me – But let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take,

And each must go alone,

It’s all a part of the Master’s plan

A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick of heart

Go to your friends that we know,

And bury your sorrows in doing good works,

Miss me – But let me go.

Although we feel his time here on earth was cut far too short, we know that God has a plan that we just can not see yet and we know Dave will be waiting for us all in heaven and as my husband said a few days ago, this is not goodbye…this is see you later. 

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I plan to continue with my regular blogging about health and nutrition over the next few days once I get a new plan in place.

Until next time...hold your loved ones a little bit tighter this Christmas season as you never know when you might see them again. Don't take any time with them for granted because there isn't always "tomorrow".